Choose your own adventure

Yes, I was quite fascinated by Vanderbilt's idea. I willgive you a watered down, less well written, unoriginal account of Vanderibilt's already borrowed theme.* Read at you own risk.**

*There actually may be references paralleling the 'real' choose your own adventure

** I don't feel the need to preface the story, or construct any kind of plot. This is because I don't know what the word means.

You find yourself in the a strange city. Some people speak English, and some other language. It could be El Paso, Prague, or Manila. You are ignorant to culture or racial markers.

Do you find the nearest pornographer and converse with him, try to find a newspaper Marty Mcfly style, or try to figure it out yourself, even though you know absolutely nothing.

You happen to be a stubborn chap searching for adventure. You wander the mews, avenues, boulevards, and the like. Your legs are tired, but your loins are not. A woman dressed in a business suit smiles at you. She has a crooked tooth, but you like those kind of flaws.

Do you ask her, "how much to take me around the world Magellan style?", ignore your primal instincts and eat some kind of sandwich, do what you usually do, and buy a loaf of Italian bread and a tub of margerine

See normally you would take the last choice, however, you are in a strange city, no one knows you. You proposition this not so young lady. She looks at you puzzled, like you got mustard on your sweater vest.

Do you, repeat the question, run away, push her down and run away

Well C'mon, you don't want her following you. She doesn't fall down because you are a weakling. You kick the prospective presser of charges in the shins, and take four lefts. Shit! You are back where you started. The women is waiting, quite astutely, for an explanation. You happen to be smooth*, so you approach her casusally to work it out.
*You are not, nor will you ever be

Do you profusely apologize, and make up an excuse, Give her a clothesline (from hell) , Make sweet, sweet, love, to a sweet, sweet, sausage

Uh oh. No good choices there. You unlogically refrain from violence and sexual acts. She's waiting for an explanation. You start stroking the piece to insinuate what you want. It's pretty surreal, even for you. The snaggle tooth whore pretends to walk away. You almost fall for it. She says, "80, that's how much it costs" You stroke your chin and say sure. Uh Oh! You don't have any money. Maybe you can pay her in orgasms, 80 of them.

Do you play it cool, and act like you are the real McCoy, Pplitely tell her you are not interested, eat an ice cream sandwich

You are partial to ice cream sandwiches, but your piece is on fire. You need to put it out. Your doctor told you that you are allergic to blue balls. It could kill you. You make the logical choice and follow her. She walks quite confidently towards an unknown destination. You pass, an 'adult' kiosk. Aha! It's not even a choice, you follow your unlikely hostess. After about an hour and a half you are walking on the side of a service road in a post industrial paradise.

Do you, see if the kiosk is still open, force the issue, keep walking

You felt some audacity, but you lost it. You keep on walking. You get to a cliff. She's got Leonardo wings, you got nothing. She jumps off and falls to her death.

Do you, follow suit, find a safer way down and collect the dead body, or walk back to where you started and utilize the Marty McFly method.

TURN TO P. 48 for your fate!