Carl Winslow

There's a hole in the floor,
Carl Winslow, a hole
right into the bedroom
you've worked so hard for.

Don't look down, big guy.
Let Harriet take care
of this mess. Just stay
in bed and sleep. Don't ask why

a television set just flew
up through your carpet,
tore through it like a hymen.
Just sleep for a few

more hours. But don't dream
handyman fantasies.
Remember the bathroom, Carl.
It's not as easy as it seems.

Just stay warm, old friend.
Wrap that comforter
around your pot belly
and pretend this nightmare will end.

Don't go to the door,
Carl Winslow. There's a draft
up the stairs, and now through the floor.
You'll catch a cold for sure.