Today marks the first day of Lent, that 40-day Christian thing where Christians give up things so they can feel more Christian. What are the BfN contributors giving up?
Madison: He personally told me that he is going to abstain from blowjobs, both giving AND receiving, which sucks(pun intended) for the BfN staff, but is a godsend to stray cats and Honda Civic tailpipes.
Pinche: I heard she was going to temporarily halt her ongoing molestation of Popes and potatoes. But let me just say to you, body of Pope John Paul II, and you, Idaho's potato industry: you guys better watch out come April 9th, because that won't be a Cadbury egg up your ass. Or maybe it will be.
Shitface: Rumors are circulating that good ol' Shitface Mcstevens is going to give up scumbaggery, but I highly doubt their veracity.
Robert: He's not going to wear his infamous butter-knife beanie, but he's still going to carry it around as a conversation piece.
Vanderbilt(aka Me): I'm giving up soda but it's gonna be hard because you know like I love soda I drink so much of it and it tastes so good so it's gonna be hard I know but I can do it because I love Jesus and I know he'd appreciate me not drinking soda which I lovesomuch, maybe chocolate though because I love that too and eat it a lot but I'm not really fat at all because of my metabolism but noithink i'llstickwithgivingupsodabecauseilikeitmorethanchocolategodthisissucha
hardchoicejesusgavehislifeandicantevendecideifiwanttogiveupsodaor
chocolategodineedaspriteoramountaindewandsomehersheykisses
damnyougodforgivingmethepowerofthoughtitjustfucksmeup
yummountaindew.
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5 comments:
No friggin' way I'm giving up molesting the pope. I will serve my faith and spiritual guides as the good catholic (oxymoron) that I am. Maybe I'll give up taking baths. No, I won't do that either. This is a tough choice - okay, I'll, too, give up blowjobs.
Give up being a scumbag never,
but give me a mountain dew, as a matter a fact call me Mountain Drew, You a pimp, lets call over your girl and see who is mounting who
This should be cake for me...what jesus doen't know yet is that I lost my beloved beanie in a dice game in some sewer with a couple guys named Nathan Detroit, and Sky Masterson.
This is what I like to call the religious loophole (aka God's Colon). If God doesn't ask you, you don't tell him or her or it or alanis morisette. If god admits to knowing that god was spying then you can talk to your local cardinals and have god brought up on charges of high treason.
I'm giving up sex. I got like a 4 month jump on it, just to prove my devotion to God
Easter can't come soon enough. . .
You guys freakin kill me, i split something laughing so hard for rizzle...
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