Now, see, why do you have to do that? I ask you to fill it up, premium, so you put the nozzle in the tank and let the pump do its thing. See, I like that. That machine knows when my tank is full. What I have a problem with is you pumping more gas into my tank so that the total is a "round" number. I'm paying with plastic anyway, there's no need to make the numbers even. There's no change!
This is why I hate getting gas in Jersey. The prices may be lower, but the savings aren't worth it when something like this happens.
Look, I know you're trying to do a nice thing. I know you think it's a convenience for me, but I'd just rather that when the pump says my car is full, you believe it. I like to take care of my car, and I don't know what kind of effect overloading the tank with gas could have on it.
See that card you just swiped? That Gold Mastercard? Now look at this chest. See the masculine hair, the round and toned muscles? This was my Gold Mastercard. This is what bought me my mansion in LA, my house in southern Oregon, and this magnificent Jetta. It bought me friends like Sasha Mitchell, and a temporary voice role on Justice League. You may work at a gas station and do this type of thing for a living, but this chest gives me the authority to tell you that what you're doing is wrong.
I don't expect you to understand. I'm not even surprised that you don't recognize me. How could I expect anything less with that beard you have? My chest hair is cleaner, more fragrant, and more masculine than that beard will ever be, and one more thing...oh, wait, you do recognize me?
No, I'm not Randy West.
(Puts magnificent Jetta into drive, pulls away with trademark exasperated face)
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4 comments:
One time I was in PA getting gas and I sat in my car for about 5 minutes before I realized that I had to get it myself. Boy did that ever suck. Even when I do pump it myself (which I tried to make as infrequent as possible)I pump up to a round number. It's habit, I've been exposed to it my whole life. Full service is actually pretty great, it allows me to run into WaWa and get some cash, a soda, bag of chips, and an awesome hoagie. And when I come back to my car it's all ready to go.
Beautiful
I didn't realize full-service gas stations still existed.
You lazy, East Coast elite!
Not so much East Coast as just New Jersey. The rest of the "states" around here make people work for their gas. Pretty much I'm restricted to either NJ or Oregon if I want to move. But in Oregon, they don't have WaWa. so now I'm torn. As for being lazy...I'd have to agree, I'd much rather talk on my cell or pick out a new CD than step out of my car for 5 minutes.
DUDE
NEVER THE USED THE LORD's
name (Randy West) in vain
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