Here comes the bride

I always joke about my life. Sometimes, I joke about preposterous things.

For example, I'll always remind my parents how easy it is for me to go out find a sperm donor to impregnate me whenever they start with the whole, "We want Grandchildren" spiel.

Or, I joke about dying in a car accident a lot. There have been three, yes - Three, fortune tellers that have foreseen my demise amongst wrangled metal and dripping gas. Therefore, my death in a car accident is a scientific fact.

Yet another joke that I constantly make is that of the Green Card Marriage. Where I marry some poor illegal immigrant soul just so that he can submit his application for residency to this great nation of ours. Well...the wedding is April 1st and you are all invited. Yes, it's April Fools Day, and that will be our inside joke. Life is a comedy. What better way to continue from this point than with a fake, illegal marriage? I can't think of a better way, either.