Shitface Hates Me

What timing, huh? Here we are, BfN's 100th post, and now is when internal strife decides to strike. In light of the occasion, though, I've decided to come clean in regards to the charges against me. Yes, I took the Solstice game pak. Why? Because I wanted it. I was young and naive and white. What did you expect?

But, allow me to add, I did not enjoy it at all. I played it for about 5 minutes before I went back to playing Crystalis. I much preferred shooting fire and wind out of a sword and talking to rabbits than picking up blocks and solving puzzles and shit. I think most people would agree.

Also, I had no knowledge of the Italian man's uncle in the other bathroom stall. I put a hand through and felt some fur. I thought I had made an informed decision. I didn't know it was his moustache, and I APOLOGIZED RIGHT AFTER THE AMBULANCE LEFT. How long are you going to keep a grudge?

Anyways, I have my own grievances against McStevens. Here are some of them, in an abbreviated list form:

1) You brought me to an Indian restaurant once. You know I can't eat Indian.
2) You told me the clown's name was Donald McDonald. I felt like such an asshole.
3) You tried to digo* Judith Light, and not even 6 feet away from me. Needless to say, I hate Connecticut now.
4) You are forever farting in my car. It's disgusting. And the only time I've heard a "Hebrew Oven" joke not relating to Nazis.
5) I'm just going to say it one more time: Urine is a poor lubricant. Not that I've tried, it's just common sense.

There's plenty more I hold against you, Shitface, but I don't let it stand in the way of our friendship. I'm extending the olive branch here, trying to be the bigger man. And for the record, Megaman did not make me "puke my don," as you so eloquently put it. It was Parappa.

*Digo (dee-go) v. - to copulate; to engage in sexual intercourse.