Quick fact about Madison: He only showers every other WEEKday. Don't even ask about weekends. No soap, no toothpaste, no deodorant. And has Madison Sinclair ever been molested? Not to my knowledge, and I think I'd know.
Looking back, I can see how my mom had things twisted. She was trying to give me sincere advice based on how she saw the world: sex equals dirty, therefore molesters, who pursue children as sexual objects, would rather a dirty child. Cleanliness is angelic. But maybe the pedophiles would rather a clean boy to defile.
On the other hand, maybe she just wanted to scare me into having good personal hygeine. Thanks a lot mom. I may not have dirt behind my ears, but now I have fingerprints on my rectum.
In other news, I haven't shaved since Tuesday. Because of this, I've been considering keeping the streak alive and growing a moustache, but my dad has a moustache, so that just seems weird to me. Below is a fairly accurate artistic rendering of me with a moustache. Let me know what you think. I need your advice.
3 comments:
If you grow a mustache, you'll be able to wear one of the t-shirts that says "Mustache Rides 25 cents"
Make it a John Stossel moustache!
Is it possible. in this day and age, to be under 30 years of age and grow a moustache which is not ironic? I submit that it is not. Also, question to Angie, if she ever opens this comment box again: What is the female view on moustaches? Turn on or off?
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