this weekend

Vandy and I made up this weekend! So I was in a certain tournament, a video game tournament. Well... let me set this up...

So I'm in the middle of this custody battle, right. About 4 years ago, right, I made a little shitface, right.

Now, it is my custom to have sex with a girl, right, 'and never call her back'. That's my steeze, right? I am a scumbag. Unfortunately, this one chick got pregnant, and she happened to be an associate of my cousin, right, Samantha scumbag, right. Just so you don't get it twisted, right, this whore and I made a kid in 2002.

For some reason, right, she absolved me from any financial responsibiliites, right. I was relieved, right, let me tell you, right. She said, "Shitface, I don't want my kid to know a shitface like yourself, right. Please take yourself out of my son's life, right, and your scumbag tainted money, right." JACKPOT, or so I thought, right.

During the last year sometime, right, little Shitface's momma choked to death, right, on the dick of yours truly, right. A custody battle followed these events, right. As what I think was revenge, right, she legally placed me in custody of 'our' child, right. I showed the courts , right, I was clearly unfit to be a father, right, being that I am quite a shitface, right. Logically, right, the late dick choker's father, right, would take over as the legal guardian, right. Unfortunately, it never worked out like that, right. We had a contest of scumbaggery to determine who was less fit to be, right, a parent, right. Unfortunately, right, this ended in a stale mate, right.

There was only one way out right right right right.... I needed the money to pay this dude off so he wouldn't force this shitface on me, right. He set his price, right, it was grand indeed, right. There was only one way to win the sum, right. I entered a marvel vs. capcom 2 tournament, right (A video game featuring comic book characters fighting video game characters). IT WAS A DOUBLE ELIMINATION TOURNAMENT!!! I went to my local gambling spot and placed my life earnings on my performance in this tournament right, IT WAS A DOUBLE ELIMINATION TOURNAMENT.

I was doing great, right. They were playing the theme song to the Delta Force, right (See Chuck Norris), and I was comboing like a mad man, right. All of sudden, right, I got a stomach cramp from eating too much bran, right. Hey a shitface gotta shit, right. I lost to some punk who had no skills, right. My spirits were down, right. So, I digoed a baked ham, and a turkey sandwich, right. I was ready to quit and take this shitface on, right, and then, the grandfather of little shitface made me an offer I couldn't refuse, right. He offered me a fully furbished right right right(arcade pizza and tokens) arcade, right, with all the 80's game I desired. I was like yes, I think I'll take it, right. Then the kid came out, right, and said something about eating, right. I said, "shit I didn't think, right, I had to feed this mother, right, fucka, right." And with that I stormed out, right, and did a, right, swan dive through a stained glass window, right, and continued with the tournament, right.

Fast forward to me in the finals, right, and this is where Vandy, right, stepped up his game, right, and showed what a true friend he really is, right,. I was down in the final ,right, match, right. I couldn't concentrate, right. This dude kept on spitting shit, right, about how clean I was, and how I could never pull this off, right.

At this moment, right, at my lowest of lows, right, Vandy come out of nowhere, right, and punched the perpetrator in the nuts, right, and proceeded to waft his man smell into my opponents, nose, right. No sooner that, it was over, right. I won the custody battle, right. I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THAT KID, right, and its all thanks to you Vandy, right. You are a true friend, right! Let's, right, eat, right, pizza, right, and, right, discuss, right, Solstice, right.