A Question Asked; A Question Answered

So, yesterday I'm sitting outside smoking a cigarette, when this guy I didn't know asks me, "If you could meet one person in the world, through all of history, who would it be?" It was an odd question between strangers, but I thought about it anyway. There are so many people I would want to meet: William Faulkner, Jack the Ripper, Rodion Raskolnikov, Charles Manson, Charles Bronson, Sylvester Stallone....the list goes on and on. But if I really had one choice, it would have to be Mark Archibald Foster.

I will admit that I may have stretched the limits of the question by choosing a fictional character, but I do believe fiction exists, at least in some shape or form, and Mark Foster was a great fictional character. As Carol Foster's youngest child on the seminal sitcom Step by Step, he was a kid genius and loved video games. What more could you ask for? I'll tell you. First off, he's the only person I've ever heard of who used his knowledge of physics to hit a home run. I know he could apply the same knowledge to teaching me how to throw a perfect knuckleball, as has always been my dream. Also, he pretty much single-handedly engineered family friend Flash's world record time for visiting every ride and attraction at Walt Disney World, taking the record back from those villainous Russians. Mark was never as proud to be an American as he was on that day, and I would never be as proud to be a human being as I would be if I ever met him. Hopefully, he would help me break a world record too, specifically by flipping more than 40 quarters off of my elbow, effectively stealing the title from Fonzie's cousin Angie. The final perk, of course, would be the effect Mark would have on me comparatively. His awkwardness and anxiety would counteract mine. I would finally be a leader, and could get almost any girl I wanted standing next to that skinny nerd.

Mark's real life counterpart, Christopher Castile, seems to be a pretty cool guy too, so if I couldn't magically meet Mark Foster, Chris would do fine. He plays golf, collects baseball cards, and is an aspiring pilot! He even landed at O'Hare airport once. He has also written a book, which I have yet to read, or even find, but I'm sure it is just as inspiring as the author and the timeless character he played.

Anyways, after pondering the question and coming to a decision, I turned to the guy and began to expound my answer. But there was no guy, only a squirrel, and, as always, I was alone.