However, that is neither here, nor there. Today, I bring to the table a little gem that amused me: Deadmaneating.com is an informative website that records death bound inmates and their last meal requests before execution. So, this got me thinking...what would I order if I had the choice of determining the final contents of my stomach? This is hard question. I would want to include foods that somehow reminded me of better times. Actually...it's not hard at all: Extra cheese quesadilla, rocky road ice cream, assorted deli meats and cheeses, Hersheys bar with almonds or AlmondJoy, cheese blintzes, cheese enchiladas, fried mozzarella sticks, and chips and queso. I really like cheese. Chocolate is a close second-with almonds. But, this isn't about me. It's about those lucky bastards that get to pretend they're ordering whatever they want from room service at a five star hotel and it's free. It's all free. Come to think of it - those hardened criminals have it good.
Several now-dead-guys have no final meal request. I had to think about what could possibly make a person turn away free food. And, I don't think that it has anything to do with the fact that they know they are about to die. No, it can't be the cloud of depression that the condemned must feel looming over their heads on the eve of their execution, not at all. I think it's probably that they're on diets or something. I mean, people really take care of themselves in prison. They exercise, they watch what they eat to beef up/slim down. Just take a look a Martha Stewart - she lost 20 lbs. Had she been on death row - I guara-fuckin'-tee she would have had no final meal request.
But, diets are for pansies and people that read Cosmo. Take Alan Lehman (09/28/2005) Matheney from Indiana for instance. He ordered: chicken wings, a fried chicken dinner, large wedges of potatoes, corn on the cob, biscuits and a chocolate shake. This is my kind of guy: meat-and-potatoes-guy. From the contents of his last meal - I'd venture to say that Alan
Robert Alan Shields (08/23/2005) ordered fajitas with flour tortillas, shredded cheddar and mozzarella cheeses, diced tomatoes, diced onions, sour cream, pico de gallo, bacon, breakfast sausage, onion rings, French fries, barbecue sauce and picante sauce. Interesting. My theory is that Shields was married to a Mexican prostitute at some point in his life. Obviously, before he murdered the nurse at the sperm bank because she wouldn't give him needles for his methamphetamine addiction. Yeah, that's what happened.
Kenneth Turrentine (08/11/2005) from Oklahoma, ordered and ate 10 slices of cheesecake, 10 pieces of fried chicken and fried catfish. What can I say: This guy was morbidly obese. And had he not been executed by lethal injection, it would have only been a matter of time before his heart exploded.
The end.
Dedicated to the inmates on death row. See you in hell.
2 comments:
My last meal would probably consist of: Meal #7 from Wendy's, plain, with a coke and a medium Frosty. I probably wouldn't finish the fries. I never do. Just have a small stomach, I guess.
On another note, Madison also has a strong affinity for cheese. I once witnessed him order a ham and cheese sandwich, only to hear him specify, "Hold the ham. Make it cheese," and he snapped his fingers, like it was obviously the right thing to order. Oh, to have that kind of confidence...
I heard right before men are executed, they bust their load in an attempt to preserve the speices. Does anyone have emperical evidence to support this claim?
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