Seriously, it's chocolate

Look, I sat in chocolate, alright? That's it. Don't try to make this out to be some kind of freak wiping accident, because that's not what it is. It's just chocolate. If you don't believe me, go ahead and smell it. Go ahead and taste it. If you did, you'd just taste chocolate and khaki pants. This kind of thing happens all the time. One minute you're eating a cookie, the next minute a chip has fallen onto your chair, and you have no idea what's going on down there. It's warm down there, that's why hens sit on their eggs. Warmth makes chocolate melt, and melted chocolate is messy and can tend to look like poop. It is not poop! It is chocolate, and I'm not going to argue about it anymore!